Author: William Terry

I grew up in some countryish town suburbs of east Dallas and I heard a lot of derogatory terms about people of color. Lately, I’ve also studied or took notice of people that do this thing that is described by the word, “gaslighting.” What’s a better way to say that last sentence… I’ll figure that out later. There’s a derogatory term used for people that came to the U.S. from South America called a “wetback.” It’s a derogatory term used for people that migrated from South America and supposedly swam across the Rio Grande to get here. They got wet. Wetback. Funny thing is, that they didn’t consider, is that Europeans initially came to U.S. by boats that involved a lot of them in the ocean, and learning how to swim to survive the trip over here. “WETBACKS”

I wrote about a website I made when I was right after highschool on the music scene in Dallas. I think I did it mostly to learn how to make webpages. Back then these bulletin board scripts were trending… before Facebook. The scripts are kind of like Twitter, probably the best comparison to bulletin boards. Main topic, with replies, user profile pictures, register and login. I picked up a webserver and installed one of the premade scripts. The topic at first was the DFW rave scene and the message board took off, and a lot of people started registering on it and posting articles and comments. I’m barely 18, 19, 20 and the servers costing me about a hundred dollars a month, then I found out the script I was using needed a subscription that I couldn’t afford, so I redid the website with an opensource, free, version that didn’t need a subscription fee. It turned out to be a German content management script that was based off of another Content Management script that was very popular at the time. So in all I learned how to use Vbulletin, PHPBB, Postnuke then Joomla. I went from knowing some basic html from Highschool to knowing how to run webservers and scripting in PHP.
This website on the party scene, at the time I was going to club festivals, and I ran into some people that were posting on this message board that I had setup. Before I knew it, I had quite a few people I considered friends that I would see now and then out in Dallas. Somehow, I got invited into a dance group. It was kind of corny, but it was fun. Yeah, I didn’t know how to dance too well at first… sometimes I’d be drunk and see people out there dancing on the dance floor and I’d go out there too and do whatever to dance also. I only ever danced when I was drunk, so I can’t imagine how stupid I might have looked. Well after the invitation to the dance group, I kept practicing something called pop-locking and I might have done okay now and then. Lots of drunk happening here. Some people in our dance group could break dance also. Which was cool to watch, but I wasn’t much of a floor dancer person though I tried.
Fast forward several years later and now that I look back at this, I can’t imagine how many of these people were also trying to set me up and frame me, because I didn’t know the state of surveillance back then or anything that I’ve learned about what’s going on since COVID. I lost touch with most people I knew back then also because my social media accounts got wiped and lost my contacts. I’m currently writing about this right now because I kind of bumped into someone I knew at the time, I haven’t seen in twenty years. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a happy reunion… “Hey, what’s up, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are you okay?” It looks more like a social media account discord on me, based on a photography site because of the play on words. I mentioned this group of people from TCU I bumped into on Instagram a while ago and yeah so I like this woman I met from there and now this dude from forever ago is running around with that woman I was trying to talk to from that group in TCU… my response to that wasn’t very happy https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_0CVclaUn_6E55I3ebWpLcNh-67WeikX/

Summarizing the Neverending Story, the book. The start of the book has some characters that run into each other and are talking about some empty void that is taking over their lands. There’s this a character called Blubb, a Will-O-The-Wisp that says the void took over a lake and the King of Frogs from his homeland. This makes me think of Fort Worth’s TCU with the Frog mascot. I mentioned earlier the book looks like it was written to appeal to U.S. audiences, though it was written in Germany. I would never have thought of this before because I didn’t know there was a Christian School in Fort Worth, and didn’t know about TCU until three years ago. I used to go to Fort Worth to clubs when I was 18 or so and had no idea there was a college there like that. I did hear there was a military base there. The German title of The Neverending Story, “Die unendliche Geschichte,” with it’s initialism that looks like DOG (DUG), that might appeal to a certain DG fraternity there. What does a DOG have to do with this? There’s a character later on called Falkor, that looks like a dog with wings, that resembles a dragon. I have no idea other than that. I happened to pick up all these subliminal messages while reading this first chapter.

Blade Runner 1982 released the same time as E.T. the Extraterrestrial… I’m putting this on the list also… my list of movies I haven’t seen (I might have seen this one already, I’ll have to watch it again.), my list of movies I haven’t seen is up there. I have a lot of catching up to do.
Director: Ridley Scott (Name sounds like Scottish Riddles, the Riddler in Batman)
Based on: Phillip K. Dick’s, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”
Starring: Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Edward Olmos
Editor: Terry Rawlings

I hate to write about this so I’ll make this post private for now. I try to evaluate myself as if I was a psychologist studying myself. I don’t know how else to say this.. I’ve noticed something about me and I haven’t studied this stuff too much. It’s something like Alzheimers. I don’t think it’s Alzheimers though. Things that cause me to stress out, or things that are overwhelmingly I have no idea what that’s about, it seems like I blank out and forget that’s there. I was writing about this surveillance thing and how I didn’t catch on to what was happening a lot earlier for example of how I thought I was surrounded by a lot of coincidences, overwhelmingly a lot of coincidences, that should have made me aware of the state of surveillance a long time ago. I thought the world was very coincidental and weird and brushed everything off and forgot about it, because I didn’t understand it. Sometimes I thought I had some weird people attraction super power from watching shows like X-men with Mr. Magneto. I never understood it and forgot about it all the time. That Batman – Arkham Knights video game with the tech gadget that sees everyone through the walls slowly sank into my understanding of what was happening when I bought my PlayStation in 2019 or so. It really took a while for me to accept that that was something that is real. I’ve heard and seen those fish scanners on fishing boats, and thermal heat scanners… besides that, I know about X-Rays at the doctors and can only imagine what type of tech it is that’s picking everything up. If it’s longer range scans with something like X-Rays, Gamma Rays or something closer ranged like the scanners on fishing boats that are installed in the ceilings of buildings, I have yet to know what’s trending out there but I can sense it’s all over the place. I’ll have to go back and figure out how to word this better and correct the grammar.

There’s something about these three movies titled the “Blindside.”
Blindside 1987 – Canadian film about a surveillance expert. Director: Lynch. Writer: Beattle. Producer: Simpson.
Blind Side 1993 – L.A. film about a couple that runs into and accidently kills a Mexican Police Officer. Director: Geoff Murphy.
The Blind Side 1993 – Based on a true story about a poor foster care kid that got to play in the NFL. Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron, Kathy Bates

The Neverending Story
These are my notes and summary based on the book instead of the movie because the book was written right before I was born whereas the movie was made right after. I didn’t know this was an actual book outside of the movie until (now as in within these last few months when I started listing all this stuff on this journal) now so before I get my facts messed up on things that might have happened in the movie that didn’t happen in the book, I’m going to go ahead and read the book.

The Neverending Story is the English translation of a German book called, “Die unendliche Geschichte.”
It was published in German in 1979 with the English translation published in 1983. It was written by Michael Ende. It was published in German by K. Thienemanns Verlag, Stutgart. It was published in English by Doubleday & Company. Inc. It was published by Penguin books in 1984. The version I’m reading now was published by Dutton’s Children’s Books, a division of Penguin books, published in 1997.

Contents
Prologue
1: Fantastica in Danger
2: Atreyu’s Mission
3: Morla the Aged One
4: Ygramul the Many
5: The Gnomics
6: The Three Magic Gates
7: The Voice of Silence
8: The Wind Giants
9: Spook City
10: The Flight to the Ivory Tower
11: The Childlike Empress
12: The Old Man of Wandering Mountain
13: Perilin, the Night Forest
14: The Desert of Colors
15: Grograman, the Many-Colored Death
16: The Silver City of Amarganth
17: A Dragon for Hero Hynreck
18: The Acharis
19: The Traveling Companions
20: The Seeing Hand
21: The Star Cloister
22: The Battle for the Ivory Tower
23: The City of the Old Emperor’s
24: Dame Eyola
25: The Picture Mine
26: The Water of Life

Prologue Summary:

Bastian, a boy described as fat, lost his mom and is bullied by kids. He’s in a store and sees a book with a metal snake emblem. He steals the book and runs off to his school’s attic with some props, an owl, a golden eagle, a fox and a skeleton. He reads the book, sitting “Indian Style,” and enters a magical world called Fantastica.

Fantastica in Danger:

It starts off by describing main characters from Fantastica’s Howling Forest, they all carry white flags.
– Will-O-The-Wisp named Blubb.
– Rock chewer named Pyornkrachzark, eats rocks and rides a bike made of rock and is ten foot tall. Pyornkrachzark is from a mountain with holes that looks like Swiss Cheese. His family is known as the Cheesiewheezies.
– Tiny person named Gluckuk, wears a red hat and rides a Snail
– Night-Hob named Vooshvazool that rides a Bat.

These character’s ran into each other and Blubb, the Will-O-The-Wisp, explains that’s there’s a void, emptiness, nothingness that made Lake Foamingbroth and Foggle the Father of Frogs disappear from Blubb’s homeland in Moldymoor. The nothing void is spreading and making everything disappear. Blubb is off to see someone called the Childlike Emperess for help. The other characters say the same thing happened to their homeland and they’re all going to see the Childlike Emperess for help also.

They all take off to the Ivory Tower where the Childlike Empress is at and are then told that she is ill and it’s probably caused by the nothing that is taking over the land. – End of Chapter

Atreyu’s Mission:

The empress is sick, and details the Fantastica Palace and all the people that have tried to cure her, dwarfs, fairies, sprites, snakes, witches, vampires and ghosts. The empress ruled over all over Fantastica and her death meant the end of them all and her death meant the end of Fantastica.
The story switches between detailing the Fantastican Empresses’ illness and Bastion’s mom’s final moments in a hospital where she was sick before her death.
The story switches between the story Bastion is reading and back to recounting things in Bastion’s life outside of the book.
Back in Fantastica the creatures trying to cure the Empress see a centaur walk in called Cairon, with a medallion of two snakes, the same emblem that’s on the book Bastion’s reading. The medallion is called Auryn, and they need to get the Auryn to someone called Atreyu to find a cure. The Childlike Empress specifically asked for Atreyu to find a cure.
Atreyu walks into the palace, a hunter that uses bows and arrows, in a purple-red cape, with blue-black hair, in a buffalo leather outfit, that can track down someone they think can cure the Empress.
The Auryn medallion will give Atreyu great power and protect him on his quest.
Atreyu gets on his horse Artax and leaves on his mission.
The story describes the nothing that is taking over Fantastica turning into a monster, thing of some sort that picked up on Atreyu’s scent and takes off after him.

I’m reading The Neverending Story book that was written in 1979 for the first time.

With so many people following my life story as if I was part of a popular drama show and the inspiration for all that in the entertainment industry, I’m very surprised no one ever made me aware of all that a long time ago, and also why I haven’t had more opportunities. It seems everything worked out the opposite most of this time with people putting me down a lot. The times when I would be doing okay, it always seems like a freak of nature shows up out of nowhere and knows everything about me and all my weaknesses, and everything to put me down again.

I wrote about The Neverending Story the other day, and I made a note about the part where Atreyu’s (the Native American character that doubles as a star with Sebastian) horse gets stuck in the swamp and drowns *bubbles*. This book was written before the E.T. movie, though the movie was released afterwards. It seems to me that the idea with E.T. taking off in a U.F.O. at the end happened, maybe by coincidental chance or maybe planned out, was a way to counteract a Native American losing his ride in a book that was becoming so popular in Germany. Comparing Atreyu to E.T. as a Native American… in one he loses his horse ride, then in the E.T. gets it back in the form of a U.F.O. to make Native American people happy again? In the form of E.T. lol…. anyways the Predator in a movie following that, has the body odor of, “It’s E.T. coming back to earth,” and then hunted. I don’t have anything to do with any of that.

I’ve listed the LoveShackFancy brand to my list… it happens to be the year I adopted my dog I named Shaggy in 2011-2013, and it’s surprising to know now that me getting a new dog would inspire a clothing brand’s name in New York. In that time I would never have guessed anyone in New York would have known I had adopted a new dog because I did not know about the state of surveillance back then. I do remember at that time that Casey Casem passed away right afterwards. I happened to see that on the news… that he had done the voice for Shaggy in Scooby Doo. I remember that sounding very coincidental, and the memory stuck. Before that, I had no idea who did the voices in Scooby Doo. Some sort of RH… Real Housewives, Rebecca Hessel, RH association with Robert Hunneycut fake friend from highschool. I ain’t your fake friend for you to leach off of. Obsessed vampire stalker people trying to start some drama bs. Taylor Swift ass coward. Idk what else to say… I ain’t you’re fertility lucky charm for everyone to try floor and ignore. Your clothes are overpriced.

What to write about today… I wrote earlier to someone that I was writing this book and it seems like everyone wants to be a part of it. I’m going at this like a journal and writing things down as I can think of them. This is my journal thing and sometimes… well a lot of times, I don’t use proper grammar on here because I like to write a lot more than I do correcting all my grammar and this is more like freewriting whatever’s on my mind, except I do delete some of my worst mistakes while I’m writing on here… this is my journal and I don’t have to have proper grammar if I don’t want to. Earlier I was writing a message to someone and made the mistake of texting without correcting my grammar, the habit of freewriting on here, made me accidentally write to someone on a social media platform informally… I have to watch out for that… what to write about. This is very informal. So I’m at this job sorting mail… this is one of the most frustrating things… There’s these mail carts designed by Uline, that people like to flip over on the ground because sorting mail at one with another person is very confrontational, instead of taking turns bowing to gather up mail from the bottom of the cart when it’s empty, people like to flip them over and squat down to pick up the mail while the carts toppled over on the floor. It makes me think of someone trying to run an obstacle course. The carts get all torn to pieces. Mail lands on the floor. Usually only one person that chooses to do that, when there’s two people sorting at one cart, so there’s this revenge sort of thing vibe that lingers around because that person that chose to topple over the carts and throw all the mail on top of the side of the cart like it’s a table for the other person, is bowing for the other person that doesn’t have to do it. I never asked anyone to do that in the first place, so I don’t have to pay anyone back for doing that. So the night time manager from Arizona that hangs out with this dude who both have names of some complete strangers that I recognize from a video game a while back, which is weird af and one of the reasons this jobs feels like I’m being framed, and they both come at me with the cart flip thing, then come at me later on like I’m supposed to bow down and do something in return, to pay them like ordering me to pick up mail from the floor, or pick up something someone dropped so the cameras at work which are filming live can show everyone she has that advantage over me because she’s night time manager. (wants to say lots of mean things here, and leave me alone) Then some new dude shows up with tats on his legs, skull and gemini tats from Kansas, with a Kansas city Chiefs hat… The skull and gemini tats… I was born in June…. I have a skull tat that I’ve finishing removing that I got when I was being stupid one day fifteen years ago… sounds like some sort of lookalike fan person or something… Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce fan that showed up to mess me up or something… It’s too coincidental. You stink like cigarettes because you keep smoking outside and people won’t shut up at work about it because this job’s confrontational and we have to work in each other’s face. I personally like working a cart by myself. So all this mail gets sorted out between A’s, C’s and D’s that creates an alphabetical scenario crisis thing of it’s own… with the corporate manager’s name on the D’s, overdose D… Dallas… Double U… Donald… DJ…. DG…. that TCU sorority that had a fan group thing around me that I try to say hello to but actually completely ignore me… that has me trippin out… I’m gonna go off on TCU pretty soon. There’s the C’s… that happens to coincide with the initials of this girl I like that took off to New York that I try to talk to come back over here. The one mail sort for Houston is on the A’s, these two people the night manager, dude she drive around with keep trying to create a scenario with me at this one mail sort because they must know I’m from Houston. I don’t know who set all of this up to create a drama scenario with me however I don’t appreciate it. The job I can handle, the drama name associations… I don’t appreciate that. What else to write about…. I moved into a new place! I signed up for some co-living thing so I can afford to fix my car situation… so first thing after moving here… new roommates have the same name as my last name and my cousins…. around the corner from my job… weird… yeah, I feel like I’m being followed by everyone. I don’t know what else to say. Since I’m sorting a lot of medical mail at work… I went and got back on my adderall after being sober for over a year… thought about asking about getting back on an ssri… if they can both work together… idk… have to ask… I don’t know what everyone expect out of me…. buy a gun and kill everyone. Let’s all do meds! It’s what I’m having to bow to all day, every day, is all these people doing medications.

It’s Halloween… I don’t have a costume. My dinosaur costume from last year’s in Honey Grove. I have a lot more to say but I will keep it simple.

I was on two years sober, and minding my own business, going to work… working on the app I was working on and finished it and got it up on the app store. I can say I did that sober and I was doing okay… probably just didn’t write as much as I do now…. blah blah blah talk talk talk… on on adderall… type type type. When I was sober here lately I was dealing with following me around while I’m driving it seem like, trying to wreck into me all the time. Now I’m on prescription medication drugs and it seem like all that stop, not noticing it so much. One thing that this med does that I appreciate the most is that it stops the racing thoughts I had from an overload of people following me around when I’m driving… I have no idea what that was… my conspiracy theories thoughts were going nuts and I want to kill everyone because I sense people trying to get rid of me. Pisses me off. No I’m not trying to sale my medication to anyone, stay away from me, I’m not going to jail over something stupid. I want a beer. This is very loud. I wanted to write about beer. You ever notice that the beer stores… alcohol, liquor stores… usually all have cameras surveillance all pointed at everyone that buys alcohol, and now the attendants run peoples ID cards, not just to check a birthdate, they basically scan it in other words to tell the police, hey this person is buying alcohol. When they leave the store, you can write them a ticket. Isn’t that in a way the same as framing someone. Liquor stores say, I’m selling you alcohol, which is the same as a drug, then I’m calling the police and telling them I sold it to you. First thing that happen when I got on my med, want to play video games, picked up my broken laptop that’s got broken lcd screen, basically decapitated, and hardware problems that I was going to put aside because anyone can break into this thing unlike my phone that stays on me, and had to get a security camera incase anyone run in and try to run off with it again. And I still don’t feel safe using this thing, like it’s bugged out all to hell… I grew up using Windows, but I’m not in a position to buy a new computer… and picked up WoW and ran the character off a cliff basically. Sober Billy that’s working on stuff versus drugged up Billy that runs around killing stuff in video games. I’m still debating on trying to work on anything under the influence… or just play video games… another things… I’m not spending as much money on food so that’s adding up because foods expensive af now adays… play video games until I come up with something on a reliable car.

Following along on the World of Warcraft storyline that I was writing about the other day… so there’s an expansion that came out in 2014 where the characters get to work on a fort and command characters like a board game. Turn based game also. I remember at this time my backpacks were overloaded. Too much stuff to sort through… reward items… it’s getting to the point that everything has to be deleted from storage to continue the game and make room for items from new quests… the game mechanics were getting complicated… I never got to finish this line of questing and end up skipping a lot to the new expansion. This fort is like having a personal home in a way… so I ran back over there and sent the character I have checking out the quests… Noticing some things in the quest line that sound like things I’m seeing going on now… one of the things about the game story line is they got the characters killing both guys and women… so the characters look like wife beaters if people are watching this like tv… majority of the people on here are women I think tho… here’s a screenshot of something kind of controversial
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_gP_4STmTP2Z2h43dzQ2pAULeZOKALgd
The character’s supposed to kill a woman in purple named Challe, next to the Fort, and kill a guy named Weldon and collect his decapitated head and return it to the fort?

I got to go to the Dia de los Muertos parade in downtown SA that was pretty cool. Before that I was having a horrible day… This journal blog has turned into a place where I complain about everything so I kind of went off on my last post because I was having a horrible day on top of that. Instead of trying to be all polite… I’m thankful for everything… growing up to be fourty and realizing all my friends up to then seem fake, and everyone’s been lying to me forever. I appreciate it a lot. Life is great. I love it.